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Art's Job Interview Tips
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 My fans around the world write to me for advice on all kinds of things all the time, but the questions I get the most are about how to do well on job interviews. Like anyone, I have learned from and fuck up on the advice of a mix of mentors. Let's examine all of the advice I have acted on that has made me the millionaire I am today.
My friend Scott's dad: Scott's dad was a guy we all looked up to as teens because his dad didn't just work at an office supply factory, he was the manager. I well recall Scott's dad saying, "Sometimes I haven't hired someone just because they didn't let me know they really wanted the job." It seemed to me that if someone had sent in a resume, put on a suit and showed up on time for the interview they must be interested, but Scott himself has since gone on to interview people and says although some people show up they have a vibe like they're killing time.
So on Scott's dad's advice I usually always end by saying "I'd really like to work here" or something similar. Maybe it makes me look a psycho (hopefully not), but at least confirms I'm interested.
KSU professor: I took a business communications class in college where the professor often went on about how you had to wear nice shoes, make sure you had your belt, use only 20 lb. watermarked resume paper, preferably off-white, no flowery stationary, or you would never even be considered for fry cook. I've done all of those things and watched people with flowery stationary paper and no belt walk off with the jobs. Fuck that professor!
She also said to wait until the final interview to ask about salary, then it was okay. Also always ask where you can progress to from the position being discussed because so they'll know you're a motivated go-getter.
My pal Richard: In the previous blog I told the story of the interview I got right out of school to be a studio cameraman at a TV station. The interviewer's eyes never lifted from my resume as he asked, "So what did you do at Home Depot?," and then I would recite what was on the resume right in front of him, then he would leave a big lull before saying, "And what did you do at Star 94?," and I would again recite what was right there on the page he was staring so intently into.
I shared the story of this peculiar interview with my pal Richard and he said, "They want people who are aggressive in news. You're supposed to take over and steer the interview." Oh! Talk more! Well I'll do that next time.
Good ol' Lynn: Newer readers will not recall Lynn, my high school pal who for some reason made her last comments on my site a barrage of put-downs. Anyhow, back in 2000 I went to an interview at another small radio station. In the interview the lady had said, "We're thinking of $23,000-$26,000." I said, "The top end of that sounds good." She said they would get back to me.
A couple of days later she says, "I've been authorized to offer $23,000." Authorized by who? Well, anyhow, I didn't have any options so I said, "Uh, well...okay."
Upon telling this news to Lynn she wrote back, "You're poverty level, my friend!...You let people push you around...You should have demanded what you were worth...Have some backbone...Please stand up for yourself."
Richard says "be more aggressive" and Lynn says "please stand up for yourself." Were they right?
My pal Hardy: Around 2003 I went to some piddly-ass interview for a $9 an hour job. The guy asked me if I knew how to use a computer. I said yes. He said, "Knowing how to use Windows isn't knowing how to use a computer." So I elaborated on some of the audio and print projects I've done with mine, then he held his hands up, "Oh, no, no, no! This job isn't very creative!" Sigh...damned if you do...I closed with the KSU professor's recommended question, "Where can I go from here?"
A few days later the guy said he didn't hire me because he didn't think they would have the room for advancement I would be looking for. Fuck that KSU professor again!
Reviewing this situation many years later with my pal Hardy, who makes in the six figures as a manager at a Fortune 500 company*, he said, "I think you may be 'talking yourself out of a job.' When that guy asks if you know how to use a computer say, 'Yes,' and leave it at that. You're giving them material to pick through." So Richard's advice, be aggressive and talk a lot, is wrong? Gee...
Hardy also said that when he was interviewing, he didn't want to hear a guy talking a lot. They were going to listen to him! And this seems just ridiculous. Someone comes to a place to advise you what they can do for your company, and you just want them to listen to you bragging on you? Is that kooky or is it just me?
So then this interview at the AJC comes up, where Lynn happens to work, and whenever they bring up $32,000-$40,000 as the pay range and I say, "Can we do $40,000?," that's wrong. As it turns out you don't ask a high price, even when one is mentioned, and wait for a counter and negotiate your way down. They just throw the range out for no reason and then you sit on your hands and take whatever. Sorry, but Lynn says you're wrong!
YOU'RE ALL WRONG! THE WORLD DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT WANTS OUT OF ME!
So the only advice I can't concretely trace back to sinking me was Scott's dad's advice. All the rest of it is nebulous and up in the air.
*He may or not be a reader here today. This guy dropped out of college when we were 20 to get married and work for $9 an hour at a computer store. I was sure he had ruined his life. He was also known for running out of gas and calling people to bring him a can from a payphone. Now he's got six figures. While I'm happy for his success...I refuse to believe his shit doesn't stink!
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Posted by Art | 12:53 PM EST |
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First, here's my take on job interviews. Somewhere on this page is a column I wrote about them: http://mynameiswilliamsmythe.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_mynameiswilliamsmythe_archive.html
Next, watch "Defending Your Life" by Albert Brooks. There's a scene where Brooks rehearses, with his wife, before a job interview. The next scene is 10-seconds long and illustrates how he caved completely when push came to shove.
You'll love it. I'm sorry you're so frustrated. If it's any consolation, I'm in largely the same boat right now.
I been down since I began to crawl.
If it wasn't for bad luck,
I wouldn't have no luck at all.
Indeed, of the folks I know, you have had some of the worst job luck. No worries...better to have bad luck with jobs then say your health...shit ya could have cancer. Your life should be defined by more than your pay check or your career anyway. I've known you a good portion of your life...outside of the career situation I'd say you've had a pretty one thus far. Remember, all some kids get is a brick in the head.
My next post shall be about the brighter side. Let me find my flashlight.
By the way, yes, many are better than me. Arthur Willoughby/William Smythe's post on this topic is great, and Brian Clark Foster also wrote a great one on job interviews. Perhaps with permission I should weld them together and post them here.
rankin' rob