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Retraction
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 I've got to publically retract a statement. Several months ago Larry Wachs of the Regular Guys' show commented on his blog that managers must troll the dregs of humanity to find the numbskulls that populate most customer service positions. He went on to opine that most are barely a rung above mental institution escapee. Being a customer service phone drone myself I had to chime in that the service he had experienced at an office supply store was probably because the clerk had been conditioned by the previous hours of contact with dimbulb customers. (Sure he was trying to make a comedic point and probably wasn't looking for someone to play devil's advocate, but what is the "comment" button for?)
Well, apologies, Mr. Wachs. You had it nailed all along.
A couple of times lately the call center higher-ups have asked me to pitch in with training the new recruits. While they take their first calls I roam around and wait for them to signal that they have a question and then I lead them to an answer.
In my usual routine I sit down in my cubicle at 10 a.m. and don't budge again until 7 p.m., only leaving for lunch and breaks and then I don't really take in the call center "ambience." In this new (temporary) position I can't help but do so and...wow.
The first day I immediately notice a couple of guys, at least 25 years of age, throwing paper clips across the isle at each other. One of them rolls a desk drawer open to create a make-do ottoman so he can prop his feet up and "chill." The next day this same guy brings a magazine called Black Men to work, which is like a cocoa version of Maxim or FHM; a girly magazine in other words. It's opened right up on his desk to a woman in a bikini sprawled across a leather couch. Later, another guy was looking at the same magazine (mind you this is while they're supposed to be taking calls) and when he sees me look startled he shows me the cover and I said, "Oh, yeah - I'm a subscriber." Kiddingly I said, after seeing one of the centerfolds, "Maybe I should subscribe for real. Does it have a subscription card?" I was joking and play along, but actually I was wondering what in the fuck these guys were doing bringing this stuff to work. Unfortunately I'm not the trainer, nor a manager, and figure it's their problem. If I had the power they would have been fired on the spot, but almost no one in the center can do that.
Watching this and considering that my lot is cast in with people who have cornrows and their names tattooed across their visible ass cracks was a real bummer, but I've resigned myself to it. Today the fun continued with people up and running around visiting each other when they should have been sitting down waiting on a call. Even a Quality analyst and a Union rep were walking around chatting with people who were supposed to be working. The trainer's official assistant told me to take names and I thought, Why don't you take names? And furthermore, who's going to do anything with them after we take them? Ninety-eight percent of this class should be fired now, and whoever let them in should be fired immediately after.
With the exception of Brian Clark I can't imagine any of my readers have had long-term exposure to this sort of thing. There's lots more to say on this but I'll elaborate tommorrow. This is quite a bit to read. |
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Posted by Art | 9:21 PM EST |
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You wouldn't bee-leeeeve the shit I saw at my former employer. Some of dese bruddas couldn't speak English that didn't sound like it belonged outside a pool hall. And between that and the cliques poor Ofay (me) couldn't catch a break. Add in some cameras that looked over your shoulder and the onse a week e-mail titled ADHERENCE that had the week's transgressors of taking an extra 10 seconds on their 30-minute lunch and it was a real recipe for motivation.
At Wonderful Widgets, I couldn't be happier if I were the guy that snaps the lesbian porn pics for Barely Legal magazine (OK, maybe I could be happier in that case). And my team has English speaking people who know what they're doing and stick together and up for each other. I lead by knowing how shitty many call centers are and taking steps to make sure my employees know they're appreciated and respected.
Art, I know full well the hell a call center can be. I escaped and you will too.
Ladies, start with Art. Pole dancing can be your next claim to fame.
" I can climb a rope without using my feet now! " - Pamela, 21 Buckhead
The ads will write themselves. And best of all, you can get that small business loan you've always dreamed about.