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Hard-working, God-fearing Businessman II
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 When people call our call center and find out what they've bought bears little resemblance to what they were sold they often say, "I can't believe a large corporation like this resorts to such tactics." I believe I can tell a Republican/Libertarian (same thing) by listening to a voice on the phone, so I usually keep my conscience clean by thinking, Keep voting for Republicans, asshole!
What's also comedic is the constant Republican drumbeat of, "Personal responsibility! Personal responsibility!," that sees little actual practice. It's quite funny to hear the incredulity of a upper-middle-class white male (i.e. a Republican) when we won't send him a free phone. "I've spent a lot of money with you guys over the years," he insists, his voice audibly bouncing off his oak hardwood floors, up to the vaulted cieling and reverberating in each pane of the French windows of his plush, all-brick home...usually as he chats over a speakphone, because he's too busy and cool to hold the receiver as he speaks to a service goon like you. Yes, you've spent money with us and you've gotten exactly as much service as you've paid for. You will continue to receive this service so long as you continue to open your wallet, such as to pay for a fucking phone.
When people have problems it's also amusing how they keep thinking they're talking to someone at a shop around the corner. "I bought this at the store right next to the Elk Lodge." Where? I'm in Atlanta. "Atlanta? You're not in that store over there?" People continually vote for large business interests without having a clue what it actually means to them. They don't comprehend how the decentralization of a nationwide company affects them, such as when their phone busts or they get gyped on a bill and there's no one within driving distance who's ass they can kick. I'm in an anonymous office park hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away, using a fake last name as I impart the bad news of the gyp they got from another anonymous person in another anonymous office park.
Speaking of busted phones...increasingly I notice the phones crap out just outside the customer's 12 month warranty period, but just before they're eligible for upgrade. This means, darn the luck, either they'll have to pay $150 for a new phone and extend their contract by two years, OR if they don't want a new contract, $200. This is because our top executives know that by building the most reliable, durable products possible good word-of-mouth will spread (which is the best form of advertising) and we will be more profitable. Or maybe I'm yankin' yer chain. Either way, it's quite funny when someone thinks that by paying $200 for a RAZR phone they're getting something well-built that will last for years and instead find out that it konks out in exactly 13 months, and is in fact no better than a "piece of shit" $50 LG phone.
Quite nautrally we can't have the largest wireless company in the United States working like this. Naw, yankin' yer chain again. We can! And even when customers say they're going to take their business elsewhere (after paying a $175 termination fee), they're only leaving the frying pan for the fire, because the other cell companies suck just as bad or worse! There's only about three to choose from and we're all the same! And no Henry Ford is gonna get a SBA loan big enough to upstage us, so you're just fucked! HA HA HA HA!
Government really should be abolished altogether so that our country can be run in the efficient style of our most respected business leaders. |
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Posted by Art | 11:35 PM EST |
7 comments
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With phones so plentiful, why doesn't some smart congressperson write a bill that cuts out the cancellation fees. That's a person we could vote for.
Seriously, look at Eric H's work on the fast food industry. There's a lot to debunk in telecoms too. The methods you described are pretty bad, and actually, not just for society's underdogs. It's just not good business practice.
What's confusing about the 'free now, pay later' ploy is that there are supposed to be things in place like the bait-and-switch, which applies to newspaper ads and such.
So it's not really regulation (/evil regulation). It's following uniform procedure, which puts business in line with customer needs. Profit is the end goal.
I'm sure the telecoms do well because of their political action committees.. lots of schmoozing and personal relationships on the Hill.
I'm just imaging the Utopia that would have been created had the elections not been stolen from Gore and Kerry. Unicorns would fly overhead shitting gold coins, and on the rare rainy days the clouds would shower us with gumdrops.
Yes, the only truly different political party is the Democratic Party, but for some reason voters resist creating Heaven on Earth by continuing to elect Republicans.
Actually, this site is better for goofy dialogue and picking on nimrods. Politics go nowhere, it's sort of dead end... moot...
Excuse me: 51%. Thank God the elections were rigged in 2000 and 2008 to quash the will of the majority.
Phew.
The problem with politics is, a person really needs to know history and current events to stay on top of it all. Otherwise blogging and opinions look like swiss cheese.
The current blitz of poli-blogs are providing detailed coverage of every little headline out there. Art's Bar and Pancake House should make us laugh, cry, think and scream!
And I already know what I need to know: Art is a serial Democrat, caught in the voting booth on countless occasions, willfully punching the chad for the commie vote. Why fight about it?
I always say about Art, the stork dropped him off at the wrong house. They meant to leave him on the doorstep in Seattle or San Francisco. Or Berkeley. His first words were supposedly Impeach Nixon!