|
|
|
| |
Rockstar: Supernova
|
| |
Supernova? Super...fizzle.
There was a mild buzz that the singer of my college rock band (who was often more than mildly buzzed himself) was possibly a contender on the new Rockstar: Supernova show starring Motley Crue's Tommy Lee. Unfortunately I don't recognize his Morrison-meets-Tyler visage in the crowd.
Looking at the field of contestants my guess is he wasn't overshadowed vocally, because these guys suck. It looks instead like Tommy Lee, Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro, Guns n' Roses guitarist Gilby Clark and former Metallica bass player Jason Newsted are looking for a Green Day or Avril Lavigne-type. These guys are older than I am by probably nearly a decade but they hope to appear hip to today's 19 year olds. A half-assed American Idol ripoff is certainly the way to appear cool to the "indie," "emo," "screamcore" scene of today. I bet Bright Eyes and Interpol are still mad they got beat out for a chance to star in this series and build their "street cred" with the MP3 thieves.
What's boggling my mind is how these tattooed, rehabed rock n' rollers are so incredibly mundane when compared to their Partridge Family-like template, American Idol. The difference, I'm convinced, is not the lack of a Simon Cowell. If Simon Cowell was on this show it would still stink. What's missing is American Idol's producer, Nigel Lythgow. Lythgow expertly introduces and attaches you to his primary characters, then builds and drops the suspense so expertly that an ordinary karaoke competition is suddenly as full of emotional highs and lows as Forrest Gump. Rockstar's contestants are uniformly black-clad, mime the same "I'm a rebel and a renegade" pose to the extent no individual personality comes through and worst of all, they all sing as poorly as I do.
Brooke Burke, while great to look at, is so lifeless as an MC that she actually makes Ryan Seacrest appear talented! And for all Motley Crue's stories of excess, Paula Abdul is 40 times a more entertaining lush than Tommy Lee.
The show is supposed to last 13 weeks but it grows old in less than 13 minutes. I think it'll be hysterical if the show is cancelled before they pick a winner.
Licensed to Kim Xiong Il
Isn't that the guy in North Korea's name? Well, who gives a shit. Let's not let facts get in the way of a funny (to me) title. For all you political buffs...
Today a guy came in the break room and asked me what I thought of Korea firing off a nuclear missile. What do I think? I don't care. If I see a mushroom cloud outside my window I'll duck and cover. Outside of that I have absolutely no control over Mr. Il and his nuclear missiles.
I learned my lesson on caring about politics and world events in 2003. I decided to be proactive; to be informed; to get involved. I picked my candidate, Howard Dean, and was excited to go to his local meet-ups. What was the game plan? Go knock on doors and hand out leaflets. Go knock on doors? I don't want anyone knocking on my door or putting fliers under my windshield, so why would I do it to anyone else? I did, however, write a few letters to people voting in the New Hampshire primaries urging them to support Dean. What was my reward? A guy who had all the press heat in the world and a 20% lead in every poll got blown out of the water by some cardboard pilgrim who had been the butt of jokes and source of groans on Democratic Underground.com just the day before.
I also joined my county's Democratic Party and went to a breakfast. My reward has been a steady stream of postcards asking me to attend $200-a-plate dinners or $50-a-person meet n' greets at some strangers' house. Hey, I'm the working Joe, remember?
So I'll worry about whether Kim Xiong Il is planning to ram a nuke up my ass the day my ass is actually singed off. Feel free to call me shallow and blissfully ignorant, but you don't have any more control over world events than I do, no matter how much you wring your hands. I'll worry about something I actually have control over, like who I'm going to vote for on next season's American Idol. |
| |
|
|
| |
Posted by Art | 9:51 PM EST |
11 comments
|  
11
Comments:
|
|
Previous Posts >>
|
|
|
Sorry to hear Tommy Lee is not a ball of fun. Maybe it's not too late to get Courtney Love. Although what a slap if they do cancel this thing before the finals.
And just like you, my mailbox has been inundated with requests for money. I have hand-scrawled many notes on these and sent them back, usually something to the effect of "As soon as you show some sign of a backbone, I'll send you cash."
The last thing these people need are the skeletons from MY closet!
; )
I concur that something about the way "Rockstar" defines "rock" turns me off of the concept entirely. I wrote a post on the Telecaster forum asking if rock shouldn't be allowed to die. Let's reflect on the great tunes of 1954 through 1975 and forget where it went from there.
I recall in their heyday Jane's Addiction's finale was for the all-male members to get in a circle and tongue each other. Dave Navarro still appears to tweeze his eyebrows to feminine perfection. He's married to Carmen Electra, but I think it's a PR scam. I think he's a fruit.
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: )
: ) : )
: ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
Buuuut seriously, folks, I love that the United States has a problem with North Korea having nukes. Sure, Il Kong Dong or whatever the fuck his name is is a basket case, but they either developed those weapons or they got them from the Chinese (via Bill Clinton), but who are we to say that they can't have nuclear weapons?
If I were Dong O Some Yung Guy, I'd flip the U.S. the finger and say, "Well, fuck you, we've got 'em. You wanna come take them away?"
We've got nukes, but it's different when it's somebody else.