That Mike Huckabee. He's so gosh-darned personable, isn't he? Have you heard he grew up bathing with Lava soap? Why, he was in college before he knew it wasn't supposed to hurt when you took a shower! (This is the signature joke of his stump speech.) Haw haw! Let's vote for him!

The girl who sits in the cell across from me in the call center penitentiary is one of my few white co-workers. Despite the fact they say never discuss politics or religion at work, she steers straight towards those subjects every chance she gets. Her cell is festooned with American flags and she frequently talks about her grandpa, the Church of God preacher, so I'll let you guess her politics.

She loves Mike Huckabee, the former Arkansas governor turned presidential candidate. I'll admit I found Huckabee to be a breath of fresh air, too. But yesterday in the reader comments in USA Today I read the disturbing accusation that Mike Huckabee's son had hung a dog from a tree and slit it's throat while Huckabee was governor. Huckabee the Preacher, rather than letting his son take his lumps like a "Christian leader" would, instead leaned on the Arkansas state police to let his son's sadistic behavior go.

Could this be true? I brought it up to my cell neighbor, and she checked it out on Snopes.com. It's true! (The throat-slitting part seems to be a point of debate, though.) Mike Huckabee has said it was an adolescent mistake, but his son was 17 at the time, just two weeks shy of his 18th birthday.

My cell neighbor, ever the Drudge Report/FOX News/Hannity and Colmes/Bill O'Reilly fan, brushed it off by saying, "It was ten years ago." I asked her if Michael Vick's indescretion had happened 10 years ago would she let him off? "He was an adult!" David Huckabee was nearly 18. Killing animals for fun is disturbing at any age, and is regarded by psychologists as a possible precursor to homicidal behavior later in life. "Well a lot of good people have screwed up kids." I posited the theory that the apple never falls far from the tree. If Mike Huckabee can pass on this kind of serial killer DNA, is he the swell Ward Cleaver he seems to be?

"Well Chelsea Clinton was ugly and there ain't nothin' the Clintons can do about that!," my good Christian, flag-waving neighbor laughed before going out for a smoke in the freezing evening air. I heard that was John Wayne Gacy's defense, too. "I may be a murderer, but you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Ha ha!"

Rather than a You Tube debate with snowmen, how about a Snopes.com debate where the candidates refute the spam e-mails circulated about them?

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