Eight or nine years ago I got a digital camera. It still works like the day I got it, all 1.3 megapixels of it. After I got this new computer I realized it didn't have a input for the 3.5" floppy disc adapter the smart card goes in, nor does the camera have a USB output. In other words my "new" camera is outdated, even though it still works great!

I can still plug the adapter in another computer, though, so before this thing becomes obsolete I've decided to take some pictures with it. These are some shots of my world. Click the images to be bored in higher resolution.

This is the fountain in an area called The Square. Whenever I have a day off I usually go pace around the Square a few times. It's rather scenic. NBC Prime Time tapes some of their "What Would You Do?" segments there. Once it was the center of the county, but now just a few suburbanites go there to feel like they're "where the action is." Note the artsy girl sketching on the fountain steps. She was really good. At blowjobs, I mean.

This theater was the focus of national controversy in the early 1990's. It was so big that Dan Rather even hosted The CBS Evening News from the sidewalk. They were running a play that mentioned homosexuality. I don't mean two guys walked out onstage and started ram-butting each other, I mean they just made a reference to homosexuality! The old doctor's wives who attend this place were aghast. The arts thrive here in our avant-garde community, as you can imagine. We embrace all forms of creativity, free thinking and free expression, as long as they display proper reverence for the Bible, nuclear families, corporations, and the police.

Actually I guess we have made some progress. A couple of years ago a play at my old college, just a few miles from this theater, featured a female student in full frontal nudity, and Dan Rather didn't even have to show up to calm things down. Unfortunately I missed that one. What was I thinking?

Paul Newman and Joann Woodward have contributed a lot of money to this theater, by the way.

This is a Celtic-themed bar & grill called Johnny MacCracken's. I envision this blog taking place somewhere like Johnny MacCracken's. Every third Sunday night Johnny's hosts gay toga parties under the name Johnny MacButtCracks. Don't tell the old doctor's wives over at the Theatre In the Square, though.

Just kidding. They don't really host gay parties.

This is a statue of the first mayor of the city, Alexander Stephens Clay. At the base it says, "We live in deeds, not years: In thoughts not breaths; In feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, and acts the best." I thought that Clay guy must've been a real deep thinker to have said that. Then I looked the quote up on the Internet and found out it was from Aristotle. Plagiarist.

This old 1940's movie theater has excellent bones for a concert venue, but judging from the pre-renovation advertising I think they're going to be showing old black-and-white movies that steer clear from references to homosexuality to cater to the old doctor's wives. Cheap Trick and the Ramones actually played here once, if you can believe it. Dan Rather had to sleep in a supply closet for a week afterward to restore law and order.

Paul Newman and Joann Woodward have also given $10,000 to the restoration of this theater.

I really hope you enjoyed this photo blog, because after I got in my car I found I had stepped in a massive pile of dog shit.