Originally I thought these "hey look at this pretty girl" posts would lighten the mood here from the political rancor and recollections of my work angst. Plus, my blog might get some extra hits from horn dogs looking for something to wank to who might instead stop, read and bookmark. However I think all these have really done is make me look like the pathetic old leach that I am.

Just the same...the front of the Wheaties box belongs to the athlete who has shown uncommon skill, even against the most extraordinary athletes of their kind from other nations. This isn't a beauty contest, this is about praising those who have best exemplified the American spirit through their achievements.

Be that as it may, I think the makers of Wheaties will be missing a lot of sales if they don't concoct some reason to put gymnast Alicia Sacramone on the front of their cereal. Yeah, she slipped and fell and sank the American team's score to mere silver status, but...c'mon! Take a look!

When Sacramone and her teammates first bounded onto the mat with their little ponytails wagging, I started wondering if I should turn myself in at the local police station. Most of these girls looked like they had rode to the gym on their tricycles. But that one...hmm...uh...she's not 13, is she? So I looked her up, and I'm relieved to report Alicia Sacramone is 20, turning 21 this December.

So lust away! Maybe she doesn't need the cover of Wheaties, but definitely the cover of FHM.



Other Olympic Observations


A lot of countries have really, really boring flags. The three above are great examples. Look at France and Russia's flags -- they look almost identical! If France and Russia got in a war, I can imagine their troops becoming confused on a smoke-covered battlefield. I think they would both lose. Who could get excited about victory behind those dull designs? Germany's flag is also bland; just picture Russia's flag but in black, orange and yellow.

Another thing I noticed, after the marathon runners finish a bottle of water, they just throw it on the ground. I think that's very rude to the host country. Shouldn't they have someone out there on a golf cart with a garbage can so those can be disposed of neatly?

Speaking of neat, I'm always hearing how under Communism everyone is shiftless and unmotivated. Then what moved the Chinese to build an infinite city like Beijing? It looks as modern as Chicago, and is very clean. Every tree and shrub looks meticulously manicured and lovely, and there's nary a fast food wrapper, newspaper or oil stain on the streets. Maybe personal pride is a motivator as well as money.

And speaking of Beijing streets...we keep hearing that oil prices are up because of China, as though they only just now gave up their rickshaws for PT Cruisers. It looks like they built a vast, complex series of interstates and overpasses a long, long time ago. Perhaps the oil companies are pumping us full of shit?