Moved by the power of my own prose, I stopped in the used DVD store Saturday and picked up five, count `em five, Eddie Murphy DVDs. The sign said buy three used DVDs and get one free, so while I was searching for a fourth pick I ran across both 48 Hours and Raw and wound up with five DVDs. So I now have 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop, Beverly Hills Cop II, the Delirious concert and Raw (they didn't have Trading Places used; another shopping trip maybe) all for $30.

I watched Beverly Hills Cop Saturday night, the first time I had seen it since David Coleman's mom took us to the Cobb Center theater in 1985. I was eager to hear Keenan Ivory Wayans say, "Take these bananas," and Bronson Pinchot say, "Would you like a little leemon tweest?," again, as David and I had repeated those lines ad infinitum the rest of the day after dying laughing at them in the theater, as well as Murphy's own "I have herpes simplex 10." It didn't hit me as hard as it did when I was 14, but it was still a perfectly enjoyable trip back to the `80s.

Upon reflection I decided, hey, fuck me. Eddie Murphy had more success by the time he was 22 than I'll have by the time I'm 90. He gave us a lot of fun as teenagers, so where do I get off going on the Internet and critiquing him?

Also, I seem to suffer from Metallica Fan Disease. Metallica fans will tell you that the Black Album sucked, while Ride the Lightning was one of Metallica's greatest albums. They fail to explain, however, why the Black Album sold about 20 times more copies than the supposedly superior work. In the same way I would say Trading Places was Eddie Murphy's finest work, but I'm at a loss to tell you why one of his "career slump" movies like Norbit has actually done $5 million more business, or The Nutty Professor did $40 million more business. So maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I bet Richard Pryor would say, "Do the people laugh when you say that shit? Do you get paid when you say that shit? Then tell Art I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!"