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| Wednesday, March 12, 2008 |
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Need My Help? Screw You!
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Here's a tip: a parking lot is not a good place to approach strangers.
A few years ago I was putting the groceries in my car after a trip to Publix. I had put the bread and milk in the passenger's seat next to me, and when I turned to close the door, there was a girl kneeling in my doorway! Where had she come from? I immediately became suspicious she was there to distract me while someone circled around and opened the unlocked passenger's door to carjack me. I didn't see anyone, so I heard the beginning of a sales spiel, something about would I like to buy some sort of something to support some organization she was part of. No, I wouldn't. And why had a teens/20-ish girl decided on this stupid approach to sell something? I thought about kidnapping her and chopping her into little pieces and throwing her in the woods just to show her what a stupid, unsafe approach to outdoor sales she had chosen.
A few months ago I was at a gas station in Norcross. Some guy around 23 at the pump in front of me asked me if I could give him and his lady friend some money. They had driven in from Athens and had run out of gas, you see. Ah, and neither of them had a dollar on them? A ATM card? A credit card? They sure didn't. Well their reward for their lack of foresight to drive 40 miles in from Athens and not realize they would eventually need to buy more gas would be to sit there at the pump all day! Fortunately for them some other sucker, eh, samaritan threw some dollars their way.
I bring all this up now because Monday morning I had stopped at a different Publix. As I was driving off I saw a black guy with two kids getting a gas can out of the trunk of his car. He was gesturing to me, and I thought maybe he needed directions or something. I cracked the window, and he said, "We've ran out of gas. Can you drive me to the gas station? It's just right over there." So you saw yourself running out of gas, and instead of heading to the nearest gas station you went to the grocery store? Interesting choice. Good thing the gas station is just right over there, because you're about to be walking, my friend!
What was he going to do, carjack me with those two little kids looking on? The nerve!
When my aunt was in her 80's she used to get those last two scenarios all the time at her grocery store, my mom told me. They're out of gas, can you drive them here or there, to a bank, blah blah blah. Fortunately my aunt still had the wherewithal not to take them up on it. At least my aunt lived close to downtown, where you can more easily believe that sort of thing is going on. Now it's out in the sunny suburbs.
Sell your fundraiser popcorn in your own neighborhood or at work. If you're going on a long car trip, bring money to buy more gas. If you're running out of gas, go to a gas station, not a grocery store. And if you need my help, screw you!
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Posted by Art | 9:53 AM EST |
6 comments
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Comments:
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I'm with you a thousand percent, with the exception of the "chopping up in a million pieces" thing. Too hard to dispose of; sets you up for discovery. One piece, one hole in the ground, solved.
I had a similar experience recently and wrote about it. A guy approached with a well-rehearsed story; when I said "no," his demeanor changed to the point where I called 911. He got arrested.
Screw 'em.
That rule still applies today, except now it's "Gas, Ass or Krispy Kremes."
I just said, "Sorry," and rushed on my way with as little eye contact as possible.
Expect that as the economy crashes completely here in the months to come that the panhandlers and hustlers will become less subtle, and more inclined to lash out when you don't make the political personal and cough up the $5 they need for a gallon of gas. Poor Lauren Burk and Eve Carson and their friends and families are just the leading edge victims of this coming crime wave. It's no time to be faint-hearted or poor. Or even marginally middle class.
I draw a huge line of distinction between someone who's fallen on hard times through no fault of their own, and bums.
Can anyone tell me what good eight years of the current Republican presidency and congress has gotten us?
In related news, it cost me $30 to fill up my Corolla this evening. When I bought it it took $12. Does the tank get bigger over time?