Am I going to die in a tornado tomorrow? I've been hoping the Weather Channel would provide a definitive answer, but they're playing games. "Lots of wind and heavy rain tomorrow. Some storms could be severe." Stop playing with my head, man!

What I need is a report that says, "You. YOU. No, not Art Garfunkel, I mean YOU, Art, are going to be crushed by a tree from the side of the Interstate as it is snapped like a toothpick by a F5 tornado tomorrow evening. This will be a blessing in disguise, as the other motorists will find themselves hurled aloft and flying end-over-end for hundreds of miles before they perish in a flaming crash on a farm in south Georgia."

Even better would be to hear, "To our surprise, the stormy winds from the Texas gulf have fully dissipated! We expect nothing but sunshine and warm weather for the rest of the year, maybe even into the next decade. Sleep easy, Art."

At least for me, this is really like waiting for Godzilla to arrive: a celebrity storm. We've seen it's horrific wrath before, and we know it may make a cameo tomorrow. Will the towering beast return to eat the remainder of the city for dessert tomorrow?

Stay tuned.