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I Can't Get That Excited
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 Van Halen, or 3/4 of it and a 16-year-old kid, have announced they are getting together again (video) -- for the third time. Or fourth? I've lost count. Let's see, there was the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards, then another murmur in `97, I think, then the announcement earlier this year, and now a press conference today at the Four Seasons hotel in Los Angeles. They actually managed to show up on a stage for 15 minutes today without anyone stomping off, so it's a record for them since 1985.
On the couple of Van Halen sites I visit everyone's flicking their Bic lighters and yahoo-ing, but I just can't get that amped up. These guys are going to be shadows of the men in the "Hot for Teacher" video, and then there's the 16-year-old on bass. I can't picture myself in the front row pumping my fist at a 16-year-old and showing anyone the bass pick I caught.
The crappy treatment of ex-bassist Michael Anthony (they had him sign away his rights to all the music and play on a sideman's salary as conditions to have any involvement in the 2004 Hagar-fronted tour) is another turnoff. However they've made it easy for me to cast my Michael Anthony protest vote because they're doing two shows in North Carolina and that's it for the Southeast! Not even Miami? Dave is a fan of the city of Miami and Florida, so I'm pretty surprised. Anyhow, I guess I've saved $100.
Everyone's viewing this press conference with rose-colored glasses, too. Dave talks to some guy in the crowd and says, "Hey, aren't you a porn star? You've got a special place in my video setup, though I don't look at you too much...," and for some reason Ed steps in to say, "Hey, be nice. He's a friend of mine." Who was being mean?
At another point when a reporter asks why a teenager is in the band, Dave says, "Ed let me speak for you if I may, and if you disagree just tap me on the shoulder in the limo afterwards and tell me...," like he's trying to tell Ed how to handle a potential disagreement.
Then Dave says, "The next obvious question is how I'm getting along with Valerie." That was obvious? They're divorced, so..? Dave says, "When I showed up she looked like she had been at the spa at the gym and the devil (that's Dave) showed up to play basketball!" Eddie looks kinda tight in the face and said, "I'll say she can hold her own." Hmm...Yoko Ono vibes.
There's some other point where Dave makes some lame joke and Ed makes a big show of hugging Wolf (his son), like he's trying to get the attention off Dave's hit-and-miss comedy act and back on him and his kid.
Or maybe I'm reading into it.
This news is buried on USA Today.com, CNN, even MTV.com. But...I dunno. If they came to Atlanta I might...find...$90...maybe...I...dunno...
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Posted by Art | 7:56 PM EST |
3 comments
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The mighty Van Halen?
More like "Oh, how the mighty have fallen"
Maybe Ed has cleaned up and is actually practicing again and I'll have to eat my words. But I wouldn't bet on it.
$90 would be better spent at the used CD store.
I'm not so sure it's a cash grab as it is a faded glory grab. I've read they're not charging nearly as much as The Police or even Genesis for tickets, but that may be because Scroll says Clear Channel lost money on some of their last shows, so they have to make the price tempting. But the word is Warner's dumped Van Halen and said either get back together with Roth or get lost, so I guess they're sucking it up. And Dave's been performing between the teacup ride and the bean bag toss of late, or perhaps by the quarter slots and all-you-can-eat buffet, plus he got booted off the radio, so this is his last chance to "shine like a diamond" again. By now it'll be cubic zirconia.
I know the show would suck, but it would be interesting to see guys our age convene in such huge numbers and pump their fists and flick their Bic lighters again. I wonder if Joe Polo will be there?
Something funny on second or third viewing...Dave says, "This rhythm section is young and it's skinny!" Uh...young, maybe.