I really despise the 99.999% of blogs out there that revolve around such small-world issues like, "I took my cat to the vet today. The hairball was removed successfully. Then my fern drooped. I watered it." Though I vowed to be topical and relevant...I took my cat to the vet today. No, wait -- I don't own a cat, but I do have a boring job that I can rattle on about interminably. Here's another boring story from my job, but with perhaps a titter hidden within it somewhere.

So I got a 60% score on a call at work. Usually I'm a all-100's kinda guy, but here was a 60. "You didn't tell the customer about their early termination fee." I checked out the bulletpoints we're supposed to tell the customers about in the call, and the early termination fee isn't on there! So I let my boss know this needed to be looked into.

So we listened to the call today...and I did tell them about the early termination fee! I said, "Listen to that! I didn't even have to tell them about it and I did!"

Another thing they had written down was, "You only told the customer about one pay per use feature." They only HAD one pay per use...my God, this is what my days are made of?...feature. So my boss said I should tell them about the others anyhow. I said let's check the script on that, and she said, "No that's okay." I said c'mon, just click it and let's see. "No, that's all right," she said. She knows I'M RIGHT

Then I asked her about this 35% they gave me last month, another one where their logic eludes me. She said, "They rejected it, just like I told you in the e-mail." What e-mail? I never saw it. Could you resend that to me? She started looking through her sent box...then abruptly changed the subject. She'd never written or sent me any e-mail! And I could tell you the boring story of that call, too, but...it's boring.

Along the way in all of this I said they must be paying her $80,000 a year because she sure defended them like nobody's business. She seemed to chaffe at that, but if I get a bad review so does she, so why she would sit still for obviously, provably erroneous reviews baffles me.

My opinion was maybe now that the merger is done they're looking to drum up some phony bullshit just so they can scrap us all and claim we weren't following instructions or whatever and thus save paying us any unemployment or severance benefits. She said, "Oh, no, why would you think that? You're one of the best people on the phones." So why do I get a shit review when I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ANY MISTAKES?

Isn't that fascinating? Hey, I shorted you on one of my call center hijinks stories last weekend. I'll give you the second story soon.