...said Dwight Schrute upon being temporarily made regional manager on The Office. It's also a fitting warning for undertaking employment at Fitzsimmons Wireless. Here's an interesting exchange of e-mails between my manager and I today. The area manager had apparently contacted my manager, who forwarded her message on to me. I always find it flattering when my name is in the subject line of an e-mail:
Area manager:
I just listened to a call Linda on the OPT received from Art on 5/30 at 12:41. Art is complaining about not being able to get promoted and just sits here taking calls.
Please remind him to remain professional on in house calls as well as with customers.
My manager:
I’m going to arrange for you to listen to the call referenced below. Please don’t let this happen again!
Me:
If they would recognize what a good job I’ve done over the past three-and-nearly-one-half years I wouldn’t have anything to “complain” about! (I think it’s more of an observation than complaint.) :)
My manager:
Perhaps you need to review your Monthly Developments and PEPs for the past 2 years for a better perspective!
Me:
Sure…I've got a manila folder full of 100% Quality observations, an Employee of the Month award, I’m currently in cues for: Welcome Call, Combined Billing, Fulfillment, Small Business and Migration; all year-end employee reviews have been more than satisfactory, and I was asked to Assistant Coach more than once. And I have a four-year degree from Kennesaw State with a minor in Management, and a Georgia Association of Broadcasters award for Best AAA Newscast (irrelevant, I know, but I still have it), and I scored in the top 99% in verbal and written skills on both the SAT (1,000 cummulative score) and Georgia Regent’s Test. And I used to have my own radio show, and have been a on-air guest on 96 Rock and WFOM.
So, sure, I think I could contribute significantly more here!
My manager:
Those are great achievements Art, and I commend you for them! We’ll review your PEPs and Monthly Ds on file when we meet as well as the issue regarding work avoidance** detected on the Detailed Agents Reports that we discussed in January. Ironically, by your adhering to the recommendations for improvement ……..your Availability performance went from 72.64 and NM to an average of 79.33 with a rating of ME ( meets and sometimes exceeds ) year to date, which is great!
In my opinion, consistent exceptional performance in all objective areas of responsibility is expected of a candidate for a promotion along with education and other skills. And I’m sure if you continue on the course of improving, it will be achieved.
I’ll bring copies of your Monthly Ds, year to date and 2006 to shed some light on this.
Me:
Thank you.
Plus just since you gave me my comp code a couple of weeks ago I’ve added 100 insurance plans, a dozen text packages, 11 7p-7a packages, and four unlimited text messaging packages. And I’m not even a sales type!
If you’d like me to brag without shame about anything else just ask. :)
** "Work avoidance" is the getting up to pee I mentioned here awhile back. No whizzing on Fitzsimmons' time!
Yes, I know, I'm quite cheeky, and perhaps not entirely right in the head. But it does become very wearing to get microcriticism while being harangued by customers at the same time. Let me also add that now they're sending little e-mails all the time, "Just a friendly reminder you've been unavailable four minutes," or whatever whenever I get up to whiz or get a cup of water in the break room. Yesterday I struck again when I headed the Resource team off at the pass with an e-mail that read, "NOTE: I am about to go to the bathroom. I will be unavailable for two or three minutes. I have started my own timer."
And you see how I was crowing about the sales I was doing? Well, I learned something else today. A co-worker (white, former manager) said she was expecting an extra $80 in her check this week from her feature sales. But guess what?! If you score less than 85% on a Quality observation, they don't give you your commissions! So...they have an incentive to micro-pick things apart to save the cash on you! I noticed my extra dollars were missing, also.
I began with a quote from Dwight Schrute, I'll end with one from Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction in the song "Ted, Just Admit It..": everybody is so full of shit!
