Per my previous post, I decided to take the challenge. I put on my reporter cap, put my ear to the ground, and sought out News from Real People!

My co-worker, Catrina, thinks it's ridiculous that I eat Lean Pockets every day for lunch. She thinks I should learn to cook fried chicken. She says it's just as easy to make baked chicken, too.

In the break room, Chucky recited Family Circus and Andy Kapp comics she remembered from years ago.

Fried chicken loomed large in the day's headlines. My parents got plates of boneless fried chicken at Red Lobster for just $7.99. They found it to be just as good as the fried chicken special at Cracker Barrel, and for slightly less money.

I was becoming afraid my news scouting from Real People wasn't going to turn up much, but wait `til you hear how it went on the way home!

Stopping at Blockbuster for a movie, the guy behind the counter said, "Y'know, it's really ridiculous that we're attempting to take Al Queda head-on as though we're fighting Hirohito in World War II. We're dressing up in uniforms like good sports, wearing the emblem to indicate what side we're on, and acting bewildered when the enemy doesn't do the same. This is how we lost Vietnam."

Pausing at the post office to pay a few bills, the guy behind the counter said, "Art, I'd like to add to what the guy at Blockbuster just said. We're supposed to be fighting the terrorists on their own turf so we don't have to fight them on our own, right? And Spain and England are a part of that. So why did the subways in Madrid and London explode?"

Plunking down the $2.85 a gallon for some extremely expensive gas and some Slim Jims, the guy at QuikTrip said, "First Iraq was gonna be free when we reached Baghdad, then it was gonna be after Saddam's sons were dragged through the streets, then after their first free elections, then after Saddam was dead. All of this has passed, and we're still there! What gives?"

Gathering News from Real People went great after all! I rounded it out by stopping at the drive-thru at Zaxby's where the lady at the window kindly threw in my 10-day forecast and all the week's sports scores. Tim Russert and Chris Matthews have received my last hours of viewership.

2 Comments:

 Anonymous said...

Wow. This is better than the AJC.

12:40 PM, May 08, 2007  

 Art said...

Rob, if only you would restart your blog, your writing could water down the deleterious effects of my blog and restore some integrity to the Internet.

11:01 AM, May 13, 2007  

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