YouTube video got removed.
It's overdue, but I have to tell you that about a week ago I went to the theater and saw the Big Four: Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax in concert. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, maybe a couple of years.

Back in high school, I thought I was too cool for "speed metal," as we called it then. It wasn't very melodic and didn't have a lot of dynamics; there was barely an acoustic guitar anywhere, and there sure weren't any keyboards or exotic folk instruments. It was just Marshalls and Mesa-Boogies turned up to 11 and coming at you as fast as the guitarists could strum. I only owned Metallica's Master of Puppets, which I had bought out of pure curiosity. Later on in my mid-20's, though, I bought most of the Metallica and Anthrax discographies and learned that if you took them for what they were, they were pretty good. Don't expect to hear "Since I've Been Loving You" out of these guys, but enjoy it as the sort of fun goof it was intended to be. (Later on I bought Megadeth's three recognized classics, as well.)

So last week I had three days off and read on my friend Don's blog that there was to be a satellite broadcast of the Big Four bands of thrash metal in theaters. I contacted my friend Darren, a thrash metal enthusiast, and off we went to Perimeter Pointe theater.

Darren was a little irritated with me because first I drove off without our tickets and had to make a U-turn, then I realized I was nearly out of gas and had to stop. Despite this we got to the theater 25 minutes early and despite our nightmares, there were plenty of seats. Maybe too many. There were only about 25 people there, 40 tops! I thought maybe it was because we went to a theater in a hoity-toity part of town, but I've heard it was the same scene all over the U.S. and Europe. A lot of people are wanting this Big Four tour to come to the U.S. but if this theater release is being used to gauge public interest, don't bet on it. It was only $18 + $1 service charge to sit in the air conditioning and see this on a big screen in theater sound, and barely anyone took them up on it. Jack the ticket price up to $200 and have everyone sit outdoors for eight hours and what do you expect?

The tickets said the show started at 7:30 p.m., but at 7:05 they were showing an interview with Lars Ulrich, Scott Ian and Dave Mustaine. If I had known they were going to be showing this I would've shown up sooner! Scott Ian said, "I knew these two guys when they were in a band together." I thought, wow, Scott! Rub that sore spot!

Anthrax was first on stage. They're my friend Darren's favorite and I'm like `em second best out of all the thrash bands. Despite being nearly 40, Darren and I were air drumming and singing along like 17-year-olds. I was afraid we might've been annoying people around us, but it was too much! Out of all the bands I would say Anthrax had the most energy and were the most fun to watch. There was zero enthusiasm out of the theater crowd when they took the stage, and the arena in Bulgaria where the concert happened was barely half full when they started, but I hope Anthrax's set reminds everyone how good they were before they had 14 lineup changes.

Megadeth was next. Megadeth was the first thrash metal band I ever heard in depth, but after all these years I still can't get into them. They mostly sound like a lot of solos around minimal songs, like a Mike Varney shredder band. Live, Mustaine just stood there like a wooden indian and barely moved. Impressive guitar playing all around, but I'm not a GIT student looking for a tutorial, I'm a guy looking to be entertained. Some have said Mustaine seemed detached and spaced out even in the interview, theorizing he may have had a drug relapse, and as I think about it they may be right, but I hope not, because I have been impressed with the charity work I've read that he does.

Third was Slayer. There had been zero noise for Anthrax, more for Megadeth, and Slayer got the biggest reception so far. I've never been into Slayer not only because their music sounds like cartoon bullshit, but I think these guys are really into Satanism and Nazism, no matter what they say. Being a big Jimmy Page fan I've of course done some occult reading, and read about how Satanism ties in with Friedrich Nietzsche, Nazism and white supremacy, and if you read Slayer's lyrics and the graphics they use it's all in there. I can appreciate "Angel of Death," a song about Joseph Mengele and the torture methods at Auschwitz, as an exciting song, but the stuff they're talking about with glee in their lyrics really happened to people!

Despite all of this, I put that out of my mind and enjoyed their set for what it was. I'll give them one thing, they were far tighter than any of the other three bands, mostly due to Dave Lombardo, who was ridiculously good on the drums. That guy's not just a good musician, he's a physical specimen. There's no way he's living a rock n' roll lifestyle and playing like that, he has to train like Lance Armstrong, I'm certain.

Last was the undisputed kings, Metallica. On the Internet everyone trashes Metallica and calls them sell-outs, says they've lost it, they can't play or sing anymore, etcetera, but the audience reaction when they appeared says no one believes their own B.S. Even in the theater there was a huge outpouring of excitement for Metallica. Of all the bands they did sound the most ramshackle -- Lars Ulrich must've felt the pressure of following Lombardo, because he was floundering behind the drums -- but they can get away with it because the quality of their songs is far beyond any other band in the genre. Songs like "One" and "Nothing Else Matters" show a sophistication in their arrangement that the other bands don't touch with a 20-foot pole. I'm kind of surprised the thrash audience can appreciate the difference since they just seem to want to hear something they can run around in circles and beat on each other to. James Hetfield is also a fantastic front man. On all the DVD's I've seen of them live he's a funny and engaging guy ("You're scratching like a maniac -- dick rash!"). On this night he said, "This will be out on DVD soon, so you can watch it at home and hear all the fuck ups."

The peak, though, was when he said, "We have some extra instruments out here," and the rest of the bands joined them on stage, and everyone went wild when they saw Dave Mustaine standing right there next to his old nemesis and singing "Am I Evil?" Only Lombardo from Slayer joined in, though; apparently Kerry King has a beef with Metallica and Megadeth still and so Slayer stayed off stage until they took a group photo at the end. It was always the Big Three to me, anyhow.

Some kid who must've been 17 or 20 kept leaning over and talking to my friend Darren. I thought back to when a friend got our Jimmy Page tickets in 1988 and talked about these old hippy guys recalling seeing Zeppelin in the early `70's. I guess to a kid today my friend and I are those guys. "Man, they're so old I bet they saw Metallica with Cliff Burton!"

So that was fun.