We're back after yet another pause for family situations.

Of all the news that's been out there lately -- health care summits, 3-foot tall tsunamis -- the story that's fascinated me the most is the story of the killer whale killing the trainer at Sea World. I don't know if that's because I'm simple-minded and this is a sensationalistic, easy story to understand, or if it's because I've been to Sea World in Orlando and saw the killer whale show, and therefore I feel "close" to this story.

I'm not sure this whale was trying to kill the trainer. They said it grabbed her by the ponytail and bounced her around a little before yanking her in the pool and then circling the pool with her in it's mouth. It sounds to me like the whale might have thought it was just playing with the trainer, especially since she was rewarding it with a rubdown for successfully doing a trick. Maybe it was celebrating? However I've also read (in a You Tube comment, if you can consider that an authority) that killer whales can kill Great Whites in the ocean by holding them, because they realize Great Whites can't breathe if they're held still (sharks rely on their motion to stream air over their gills), so maybe it knew it was drowning her?

Although it's sad this happened, anyone who gets in the water with these things 40 hours a week for years may as well accept that they may die in that pool with an audience looking on as "Twist and Shout" plays over a P.A. My granddad worked on construction sites hundreds of feet in the air, sometimes seven days a week, for decades. Over 40 years he lost part of a finger, had a saw blow up in his eye, and fell 50 feet. He lived to be just a month shy of 90, though, but the point is he knew those things were bound to happen, and this trainer probably realized she might get crushed by one of these things, but like my granddad, she did it anyway.

Now over to Jean Velez-Mitchell and all these pundits saying whale shows are cruel and exploitative. Thanks for shitting on my happy childhood memories! I loved Sea World! I came away with the impression these animals were living in a five-star hotel compared to their brethren in the wild. They get fed without having to hunt, are in a temperature-controlled climate, and sharks and whale hunters are far, far away. Would it be better if this whale was out there desperately searching for food and dodging sharks all day? It may have already been dead! I think this whale proved it can defend itself and doesn't have to do anything it really doesn't want to. Just like with McDonald's fast food and American Idol, suddenly everybody is far too hip to go to Sea World, yet the place has been open 30 or 40 years and has entertained billions!

I'm also sick of the media calling these animals "orcas." I guess people think this is a more politically-correct term, but back when Jaws was a hit movie, they made a TV movie called Orca that was about a killer whale attacking a ship. Stop the pretension and call `em killer whales. (Factoid: I thought killer whales were only called that because they attacked bigger whales in schools. Now I read that they also eat dolphins, seals and walruses. And a 125 lb. woman was in the pool with this thing? And they're actually considered large dolphins, not real whales.)

This either makes me want to go back to Orlando and see Sea World again before some bunch of shitheads gets them closed down, or I'll just get out our old fuzzy 1986 video of the whale show. I guess the latter is cheaper.

Shake that ass, Shamu, or we'll put you in a tuna can!