Here's my impression of Wednesday night's State of the Union speech:
CNN Panel: The president must deliver a very bipartisan speech here tonight. Ah, here he comes now.
Barack Obama: My fellow Americans, when George Washington crossed the Potomac in a canoe during the Revolutionary War, it was very cold and uncomfortable. I'm sure you've all seen the painting. But thanks to his effort, we can now look forward to the kind of America I envision.
I see an America where there are doughnuts that we can eat and eat and eat, without ever gaining a pound. I believe Americans deserve rocket cars that can lift them above traffic and deliver them to work in just five minutes. And finally, I will not rest until America is the Number One country for giving free rock concerts headlined by national, big-name bands.
The Gallery: Explodes in bipartisan applause.
CNN Panel: The president has certainly just delivered his most bipartisan speech to date. We especially liked the part about the doughnuts.
The State of the Union speech probably hasn't been substantive in 100 years, or certainly not since it's been covered by newspapers, radio and TV. If this speech was really about taking the nation's temperature and plotting the future, it would be as dry as a Jaycees meeting. They would read the minutes, discuss the budget, ask for volunteers for the blood drive and set the time to meet again. Instead it's just a infommercial designed to make people feel like they're government is okay after all.
Obama's speech felt like he knew his poll numbers were sagging, so he reheated one of his campaign speeches from December of 2008, back when he was really hot. Notice there wasn't much on the actual state of the Union, just daydreaming on how he thought the nation ought to be.
One thing that caught my attention was when he said, "We should rebuild our nation's infrastructure, which will create new, green jobs." Yes, I remember him saying that about a year-and-a-half ago. He's been president for a year now, so where is this infrastructure building? Where are the green jobs? Bill Clinton spoke at the local college about how if you put grass on the roof of a building it kept it cool in summer and warm in winter, and someone could have a job mowing it. Why don't I see any grassy roofs that need mowing? Where are the armies of laborers installing solar panels in cow pastures?
The president also talked about the bullet train system being built in Florida. That's great, but apparently today's engineers are already too busy texting to drive the sluggish, outmoded trains we have, so I don't know if I want to see what kind of wrecks they can produce with a bullet train.
I've got to think Obama means well and maybe he's just getting warmed up, but we're already through with the first quarter. Let's hear some pads popping out there.
