So what, Metallica has another record coming out? "It's supposed to be a return to their roots." So they'll retread some of their old songs as 40-somethings with a big budget would do them. No matter how good or bad it is, the fans will pan it. I'll encounter some of the new songs on the radio but mistake them for Godsmack. The real Metallica ended with ...And Justice for All, or during one of the better songs from The Black Album, so who cares?

But last week at work my pal Grossman said he had downloaded Death Magnetic; I wondered how because it was Wednesday and it wasn't due out until Friday. His description of the guitar sound as "perfect" interested me, so I looked it up myself and gave it a listen.

The songs didn't strike me as having the inspired momentum of Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets or Justice, but after a few listens I started changing my mind. In some respects this is better; this is the Metallica that has had time to really learn its craft. This is speed metal made catchy, without resorting to soggy covers of Lynrd Skynrd and Bob Seger, as they've done in the past.

Right now I'm listening to "The End of the Line." The way Kirk Hammett's solo starts is really, really cool and catches me offguard every time.

"The Day That Never Comes": come on, now, haters! The end is reminiscent of "One," and probably better!

"All Nightmare Long": I haven't heard that much thrashing since "Dyers Eve!"

Some people have said James Hettfield's voice is in decline, but since he mostly growled instead of singing a soaring melody, I can't figure out what they're referring to. Sounds the same to me.

So the songs are good, Hammett is back soloing and there's enough rapid chugging on the low E-string to keep the old schoolers happy. Finally, a picture-perfect Metallica album release!

Nope, it's not all rosy.

When I was listening to this on my computer I noticed some crackling and fizzing. I figured it was either these $20 speakers or a poor-quality MP3, but it wasn't happening with any other music I listened to, so I searched on "Death Magnetic" and "distortion" and found I wasn't the only one experiencing this.

You might recall awhile back I posted a YouTube video on the "Loudness Wars." The issue is that audio mastering engineers apply limiting/compression to final mixes to increase the overall volume. This was okay if you had a single volume spike that needed trimming to balance out a track, but in recent years they've gone crazy with it. Now rather than trimming the odd spike, they cut right into the meat of the recording to boost it to ridiculous levels to be competitive with other CD's.

Death Magnetic now joins Rush's Vapor Trails and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Californication as a poster child of what the Loudness Wars can cause. At first people thought the fizz was a clever ploy by Lars: let poor-quality MP3's out the week before the album release to preview it, then fans will have to buy the CD to get decent quality. But fans who bought it Friday found the sound didn't get any better for $12.99 -- these tracks are just riddled with distortion, and not the good kind.

I had read that Hot Topic was selling the CD for $5 the day it came out. I went by Sunday hoping dopey clerks would've forgotten to change the price tags, but the price was $12.99. I ain't payin' that to hear fizz. I'll wait until they re-release it with corrected audio, if they ever do and I'm still in the mood.

So it sounds like a nice album and encourages me 40-year-olds can still rock. However, moved by the near-universal hate aimed at Metallica's Load album I checked it out on Amazon, and it actually sounds pretty good. I think rather than declining musically, Metallica is just cursed with some of the most narrow-minded, unenlightened fans out there. So maybe I'll get a used copy of Load for $5 instead.

P.S.: Grossman showed me the album cover and said, "Doesn't that look like a guy's butt? See, there's the hair, and that's the butthole..." It suddenly seemed so obvious I wondered if it was intentional. Apparently it isn't, but that might need remastered, as well.