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Nowhere Fast LCMMXXIVIZ Part 2
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SO...I felt I was doing well. In these situations it's always hard to read the interviewers because they stay poker-faced; I don't know if some manual instructs them to be that way or if they just are. Overall, though, I thought I had great evidence of my worth to share, and was being concise and articulate in sharing it.
The only time I felt I was faltering was when they started asking the questions like, "Can you recall a time that, due to the repetitiveness of a task, you lost focus and made a mistake?" Well...no, I really can't. I bit my lip Bill Clinton-style and searched my brain for an anecdote about a fuck-up, but I truly didn't have any! There were a couple more like this and I truly didn't have any examples of dropping the ball. I floundered for a little something for them to put on their papers. In the end I didn't think a lack of "boy, there was this one time when I really screwed up!" stories would hurt, though.
The main interviewer was wrapping up when the "leadership intern" sidekick said, "Can I ask one more question?" The manager looked at him like, What the fuck are you doing improvising questions? His question was, "How do you respond to negativity?"
Maybe I'm paranoid, but right away I felt he was hinting that my penchant for pessimism/cynicism had shown, though I was sure I had carefully hidden it under layers of Simon & Garfunkel melodies. I said, "I don't let anyone else's mood affect me. I'm here at 9 a.m., or 8:55, to do my job no matter what and I leave it at the door at six." I felt I returned that serve well.
Afterwards my mind searched for what could've inspired his spare question. He asked me how traffic was getting there and I said there was a bit of a bottleneck merging onto I-75 but from there it was smooooth sailing. He asked me if I wanted a different chair and I said I was comfortable. He asked me if I was cold and I said no, and a little breeze kept me sharp for their questions. He said they're department often got hit with calls that were technically out of their jurisdiction and I said, "I think all departments tend to think they're used as a dumping ground, but you just take the call and do your best with it. I'll try to resolve any issue even if it's outside my department." I even said, "I'm dappled and drowsy and ready for sleep/let the morningtime shed all its petals on me/Life I love you/All is groovy!" How the fuck much more positive could I have been?
The one thing I could think of...they had said they didn't want anyone who had to be micro-managed. I said I was all for that, and somewhere I got into the tale of the girl that, when I was training, was already asking if she couldn't just ditch the commitment she made to tally a customer's bill and give them a call back. My point was that I was repulsed by that kind of behavior and would welcome the opportunity to be around on-the-ball people such as their employees surely were. That was the ONLY "negative" thing I could think of that I had said in two hours' time, and it was actually positive!
Word got around that two people from our call center had been offered the job, neither of whom was your favorite blogger. One was a guy named Michael, who's about 46 and was formerly a project manager with AT&T making somewhere in the high five-figures. Michael's a very bright guy who graduated high school at 15, he's only doing any of these jobs due to an unfortunate downsizing and I would salute him as their choice. The other, however, was this girl who's nearly universally despised for her sharp, shitty attitude. She has a weave that's in crooked and always looks greasy, and wears crushed velvet warmup pants that show off her lovehandles. Furthermore, she's never been Employee of the Month, never been asked to help train, and I'm sure she doesn't have a college degree, either. But THIS is who beat me out?! I wrote to the girl I had known in high school and she replied, "We've made our selections. Please call for more information."
So I called and ask what went wrong. She said I didn't do anything wrong, they just wanted people with more customer service experience. I said I had heard they offered the job to Michael (who was in fact turning it down). Michael wasn't in customer service previously, he was a high-paid project manager at AT&T!
"Oh, well that's telecom experience, see. They wanted telecom experience."
I worked at Worldcom.
"You did? Was that on your resume?"
Yes.
"Well then it would go to whoever started first."
Michael and I started the same day.
She said if positions came open in the future they may call people they had already interviewed, which I think was really just a way to shut up my inquisition. I was honestly wanting an answer on what I had done to present myself incorrectly, but found it very fun to chase her into a hole where she was unable to present me with a sensible answer on why someone in purple warmup pants would get picked over me. I'll say it - I'm the white speck in this otherwise-chocolate pudding, and I never discount that getting even for "400 years of oppression" could always be in the background.
So what do you think? |
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Posted by Art | 8:38 PM EST |
6 comments
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Comments:
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I think that your suspicions about their reasoning is probably close to the truth. Sad to say, but unless there's something you're not telling us...unless you have a case of Tourette's Syndrome and screamed the f-bomb repeated during your interview...then it appears the deck is stacked firmly against you.
Do you have a degree?
I look forward to a comment from Hillary Willoughby and all I can get is Tom B.? Damn right I can't get a break! WAAH!
And please tell me you didn't REALLY sing a few lines from the Feelin' Groovy song. If so, I can tell you definitively that you were eliminated as a dang weirdo.
What are you hoping will happen when you call or email people to ask what went wrong with your interview? My guess is that you're truly hoping for constructive criticism so you won't make the same mistakes again, but I think you might as well forget it. Just like in a dating relationship where no one is going to tell you painful truths such as "You're nice but you have bad breath" or "I like talking to you but you're terrible in bed," potential employers are never going to get to the heart of the matter, which is simply, "We liked somebody else better than you. When we pictured ourselves coming to work every morning, we thought John Doe, [or in your case, Shamika D'awntrell Washington]would be cooler to have around than you would be." I doubt it's so much a case of "keepin' the white man down" as it is a matter of people wanting to hire somebody similar to themselves; somebody they can hang with. Calling or emailing them after the decision has been made is NEVER going to cause them to say, "Oops, you're right, you WOULD be better. Let me call the new employee back and tell them we changed our minds." Plus it messes with your new "I don't care if I get this job" persona.
Acting like you don't give a shit as an interviewee means you don't give a shit as an employee. Who wants that?
Of course they're not really going to give me constructive criticism. But the silly experts tell you it's a good thing to do, plus it seems to make them squirm.
I hope you have better luck with your next attempt. Don't give up, that's the main thing. Next time put on some Metallica before you go into the interview. Threaten to rip off their head and shit down their neck if they don't hire you. Maybe worth a try.
rankin' rob