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| Tuesday, October 17, 2006 |
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No Good Deed Done by `Tards Will Go Unpunished
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In an unprecedented move I took Monday and Tuesday off this week. Wednesday is my day off in exchange for working Saturday, so counting the weekend I've had five full days off from the call center, the first time I've had such free time since I started there two years and eight months ago.
So Monday I was free to visit my teenaged stomping grounds, Towne Center Mall. As I approached the door a couple of scruffy, hillbilly-looking guys were at the doors and they politely held them for me as I passed, one on the outside door, another on the inside. At first I thought they were just hicks until I got a look in one of them's eye and immediately realized he was about 10 biscuits short of a dozen. Further confirmation was that as I reached the customer service desk inside to return a shirt I saw that those guys hadn't just been holding the door for me, but had apparently designated themselves as the infrared door openers for J.C. Penney's, and robotically opened and closed the doors for every single passerby.
(Though I always hold the door for people I've never understood why that was supposed to be a gentlemanly gesture. Most doors are light enough that even an 82-year-old granny on oxygen can easily hoist one themselves. So why am I standing around holding doors like a doofus? Get your own door! I guess it's just to say, "In case you thought otherwise, I'm not a douchebag.")
At the customer service counter I was bemused to watch the `tards trying to sunny people's days through door-holding. Something in my head said this had to be stopped, but...why? It's weird but...why is it weird? Aren't they just being nice? Was there a time in this world not too long ago when chronic door-holding could get you your Eagle Scout badge?
In short order a lady arrived at the desk with her husband to tell the clerk she should do something about those nutballs at the doors. "Well, they're just being nice," the clerk offered. The woman said, "It's weird!" and marched off in a huff. "My mama used to say if you do somethin' good for folks it'll come back to you..." Apparently this clerk subscribed to the "a butterfly flaps it's wings..." theory.
However the clerk caved and got on the phone to mall security. "Get down here and tell these dolts to stop making themselves useful!," she said (not!*).
Y'know...at Publix they actually hire mongoloids from some home to bag my groceries. Something about it makes me say "eww," but I don't know why.
Anyhow, by the time she was talking to security the `tards had disappeared from the doors. I think Brian Clark walked by and they opted to follow him around awhile. * Anthrax influence. |
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Posted by Art | 11:27 PM EST |
6 comments
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Art, if you and I had been hanging out together Monday, can you imaging how hysterical we would have found that experience to be?
And yeah, I agree, I don't particularly like having my groceries 'tard-handled either, although I don't exactly know why. I guess I always think that when I'm not looking, they're picking their noses or scratching their butts. Or drooling on their hands.
If stores think the public thinks well of them for hiring tards, they need to reconsider. Our local Kohl's has a tard working in the shoe department, and I can only say that his presence there causes me to AVOID the shoe department, and that I've overheard conversations between him and his poor harassed supervisor enough to feel sorry as hell for her, for having to deal with him. It's enough of a pain to deal with garden-variety stupid people, without the added stress of having to be polite to them.
Oh and by the way. Years ago I was browsing in a bookstore and some guy came up to me with a card in his flipper, saying he was deaf and asking for donations. Being put on the spot and unable to f-ing ARGUE with him due to his deafness, I gave him a dollar or something. And I have still never gotten over feeling pissed off and taken-advantage-of. This may leave you confused about my point--do I want impaired people to work or not? Well, I don't care. I just want 'em to stay the hell at home.
I can appreciate that retards have some basic need to feel active and like they're contributing but...couldn't they collect trash or make felt ornaments for senior citizens or something? Do they have to fondle my bread?
His kid works at a Kroger I think. He's sweet, but he's not as sharp a wit as you or I. But he has a right to try to be around people if he wants to and can make a positive contribution. I'd reconsider my 'tard karma if I were you. Perhaps if he was a democrat 'tard he might've gotten a better benefit of the doubt. He certainly doesn't have to sweat the office politics, no?
rankin' rob