Hey, Art here again to help you on your way to that afternoon nap!
I've wandered off into music and `80's nostalgia too long and let actual news pass by. I know you're all wringing your hands wondering what I could possibly have to say about the White House gate crashers and Tiger Woods, so by golly, I'm gonna tell you!
Tiger Woods Crashes SUVCan a man not crash his car into a tree in his own driveway without a hoo-ha? I've been stunned that this turned into real news. Of course, later on we find out it was no mere mishap in the driveway, but the climax to a series of infidelities (did you catch that pun? Climax and infidelities? Ha ha!). However Tiger and his Norwegian could have kept it between themselves if not for the fact that apparently you don't have the right to run into your own tree. I'm really shocked that so many people actually give a crap about golf and Tiger Woods. Myself, I only bring it up because of how it ties into this next story.
White House Gate CrashersMany say this is pure fluff and we should be focusing on real news, like the Afghanistan troop surge. Really, I think this White House gate crasher story may be even more important. If the president is no more secure than this, what does that say for the rest of us? And what I find really interesting is that the Orlando police say Tiger Woods will, no two ways about it, receive a $164 ticket for crashing in his own driveway. But two people who subvert national security and blow past the Secret Service and into the presence of the president, the vice president and the Prime Minister of India? Well, we'll have to mull that over awhile...we're not sure what the punishment should be...gosh...what to do?
Are you kidding me? I would figure this would carry an instant penalty of 20 years at Guantanamo, but apparently not. We're more efficient at punishing a fender bender in Tiger Woods' driveway than a breach of national security!
I always go back to this anecdote: back in the mid `90's I got a ticket in Woodstock, Georgia for driving without a seatbelt. How the cop zoomed in on my shoulder when there were at least 200 cars around all going 45 mph I still don't know. However, around this same time, Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Colts and 11 other guys
allegedly got out of a limousine on a crowded street corner in downtown Atlanta during the Super Bowl and knifed a guy to death...and there were no witnesses! So somehow when it comes to whether or not I'm wearing a seatbelt there's no escaping the long arm of the law, but if you knife a guy to death on a crowded street corner, or now, waltz past the Secret Service and into the presence of the president, well, there's a huge gray area there, very difficult to prove anything and well, just move along and we'll forget about it.
We in the proletariat can rest easy because we're very, very, VERY safe, even from ourselves! It's the bourgeois and aristocracy we have to worry about.
More DVD Acquisitions
I tell you one thing I've got over Lewis Grizzard and Dave Barry and pretty much any other name-brand columnist you could think of: did they ever update you on their DVD purchases? Certainly not.
I snagged another good deal last week. Best Buy had season five of The Simpsons for $10.99 online. I grabbed it with in-store pickup so I also saved the shipping cost. I now have seasons two, three, four and five, which means I have all the golden years (at least I think they're golden years, unless someone can point me to other worthwhile seasons).
