Count the instances of trendy, pretentious language.

Hey, I want to thank all of you for dropping by. Sorry I didn't tweet about this meeting earlier; I know some of you had speed dating events and Pilate classes scheduled, but I really appreciate you being here during crunch time.

What we're talking about today is using social networks to crowdsource data to upload to the cloud. This opensource platform should allow us to deliver a value-added that will be a real game-changer, and we think the net gain is going to be a win-win, especially when you consider that we can accomplish this without increasing our carbon footprint.

Though this real-time mashup is still in beta, our fanboys in the blogosphere find our business model sexy enough that they're already generating a great buzz about what we're doing in Web 2.0. Basically, this new approach will ease the challenges of managing e-mail and streamline workflow. If all goes right, it should drive power users to our site so we can superserve the marketplace with feature-rich content that's filled with killer apps. By focusing on our core competencies we can create a user experience that is unsurpassed. Do the math! Beware, though, that if we're not vigilant, this could be a epic fail.

We're doing some pub by giving away swag, particularly a iTunes download we've licensed from a great new indie Brit-pop band. They're rockin' the old-school Beatles sound, and it really pops. We're also talking to hardcore, emocore, slowcore, grindcore, sadcore, metalcore and mathcore bands.

Oops, there's a text from the wife on my iPhone! I've sooo gotta bounce to Whole Foods with my fellow foodies to pick up some things. Man, the last time I was in that place it was brimming with muffin tops! There were a few MILFs and cougars, too, though. Maybe afterward I'll swing by Starbucks and say hello to my favorite barista. Sweet! Well, anyhow, thanks again for coming by.

Began on February 20, 2009