Much like America's economy, candy hit it's apex in the 1970s and `80s. Candy is good anytime, of course, but in the `70s and `80s it was really great. It wouldn't choke you, it tasted good, and it was comparatively huge and cheap.
Prior to the 1970s our forefathers enjoyed their own version of candy that today we would call "crap." They had things like butterscotch, candy corn and ribbon candy. That's the sort of candy that was always in a dish at my grandparent's house. It hurt their dentures and little kids were rarely around to eat it, so the candy sat in that bowl until eventually a pick and hammer had to be used to chisel off a nibble or two. I bet I ate from that same bowl of candy for 20 years.
Ironically real corn was sweeter than candy corn. As for the butterscotch, well a moment ago I mentioned that in the `70s and `80s candy wasn't so easy to choke on. I choked on a piece of butterscotch candy when I was about six. My mom thought I was having a coughing fit and started running steam in the shower because that eased the coughing. Finally the butterscotch smacked on the ground, though, and I escaped a Mama Cass-like death.
After decades of kids filling the nation's emergency rooms with hard candy asphyxiation, the people at the Mars Candy Company and Reese's did us the favor of inventing delicious candy bars and peanut butter cups. Halloween in those bell-bottomed and parachute-panted days were real wonders. A good haul found your bag full of Three Musketeers, Milky Ways, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and if you were fortunate you had the greatest candy of all, the Snickers bar. Only the occasional Tootsie Roll, a throwback to the primitive ribbon candy days, occasionally sullied your take. Since you were young you could jam all this stuff down your throat within 30 minutes of getting home and still have a flat stomach the next day.
Snickers, Milky Ways and Three Musketeers are still always welcome on my pallet, but in the mid-90s I started noticing something. What the candy companies considered a "Fun Size" candy bar had shrunk, from a raging bikini bash hosted by David Lee Roth to a quiet cup of tea with the quilting club. What's with the teeny-weeny size of fun these days? And why is it at the checkout line a regular Snickers bar is like a dollar when I used to be able to get one for 35 cents?
I have two theories:
- The candy companies are conserving resources and upping their profits by giving you a smaller candy for a bigger price.
- Now that people are health-conscious, they can list a lower calorie count by giving you a tinier bar, although you have to eat twice as many pieces to feel sated.
So, yeah, I still enjoy candy and won't refuse it when offered, but I think it was better in the `70's and `80's. Sweet memories.
Written June 25, 2008
