I'm going to have to hire a hit man to off Joe the Plumber, lest I hear his name one more time during this presidential campaign. I had never seen or heard of this guy, and suddenly the candidates were spending 20 minutes to speak directly to Joe and nobody else.

Apparently this guy wandered out of the audience at a Barack Obama rally and got close enough to the candidate to carry on a back-and-forth while TV news cameras rolled. That scenario in itself sounds unlikely, but Joe got up there and asked Obama if, as a man about to buy a business that makes $250,000 a year, he wouldn't pay more taxes under Obama. Obama honestly said it was a possibility, and that he was "spreading the wealth around" to help people who hoped to one day be successful like Joe.

First of all, Joe doesn't even own this spectacularly-successful plumbing business yet. He's about to buy it. Okay, I'm about to build a luxury apartment building across from Trump Tower. I suspect Joe may be a guy who's so excited to buy someone else's vans, wrenches and Yellow Pages ad that he has to announce to everyone his sudden "wealth."

Second, I think Obama's answer was wrong. The business makes $250,000, not the owner. I knew a guy in Cartersville who made something like $35,000 a year as a mechanic, but he thought the guy who owned the shop was dishonest so he opened his own shop. He said after rent, payroll and supplies, he was making less than he did working for someone else! So Joe's idea that he's going to suddenly be a quarter-millionaire might be idealistic. Due to my tenure as a temp tax examiner for the IRS, I can testify that 99% of people who put "self employed" on their tax forms earn about $2,000 a year.

Consider this from The New York Times:

"According to a calculation by the independent, non-partisan Tax Policy Center, fewer than 700,000 taxpayers would have to pay higher taxes under Mr. Obama’s plan. But even some of these are not small-business owners in the traditional sense; they include lawyers, accountants and investors in real estate, all of them with incomes that put them in the top tax brackets (i.e., they don't employ anyone but themselves, maybe a secretary -- Art).

"So are there 'millions more like Joe the Plumber,' as Mr. McCain contended? Probably not."

Aside from Joe...the Republican pundits on CNN called Obama's performance "flat and professorial." Sounds good to me; I don't want someone who seems stressed and desperate like McCain did. I also thought he shot down the Bill Ayers nonsense nice and clean, and cleared up the ACORN stuff as well as the moderator allowed (who was the best moderator by far).

I find myself liking John McCain and think he's unfairly bashed just because he's the closest thing to a Bush, Jr. mannequin we can swing at. But the fact he picked a PTA lady to ride sidecar is a big no sale.

So that's what I thought. What did you think? Pardon me if I comment on your comments; it doesn't mean I don't love you.

*Note to law enforcement: I'm not really suggesting anyone kill Joe the Plumber. It's a joke.