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 Monday, July 28, 2008
 

Plan A and Plan B

 
"You sound like you're retarded! That's just stupid, stupid, stupid!," the woman behind me in line at Wal-Mart was saying. Her comments were directed at her daughter, who appeared to be somewhere between 18 and 20. At first I thought maybe they were joking, but as the woman continued with her "stupid" comments I realized there was a serious disagreement taking place as I paid for my frozen dinners and decaf coffee.

"I've raised the stupidest kid. You can't just go live somewhere, you have to have a plan A and plan B. I want to hear what you're plan A and plan B are," she went on. Listening to her, I began to think maybe not all men who smack their wives around are crazy. Somebody sure needed to straighten this woman's attitude out. Her daughter was just as tall and of the same build. Would any jury prosecute if she blackened her mother's eyes? You can show concern for your kid's decision-making without calling them "stupid," especially over and over and over in public. Maybe the daughter was talking about moving out because she was eager to get away from her bitch mom.

The cashier had handed me my change and receipt, but at Wal-Mart the conclusion of a transaction is usually when they rotate the bag carousel and hand me the straps of the bag and say "have a nice day." Instead the cashier turned to her register and began counting her till, so I thought she had to do something else before we were done. She finally noticed me still standing there and spun the thing around and said, "I had already handed you your receipt and change. You were listening to plan A and plan B, weren't you?" Yes, I was. So was she. So was everyone around.

My advice for that daughter? Plan A: Get out of your mother's house. Plan B: No matter what happens, never come back. Plan C: Don't send birthday or Mother's Day cards.
 
 

Posted by Art | 8:30 AM EST | 1 comments |

1 Comments:

Blogger Mr. Radio said...

God forbid those two get in a Massengil commercial and that daughter says, "Mom, do you douche?"

Someone's getting their ass beaten.

7:15 PM, July 30, 2008  

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