Because I joined the Democratic Party and support labor unions some of my readers may have the incorrect perception that I'm "liberal" on everything. Not so! And a leading example would be the occupation of parenting.
Today at the call center some lady called in ranting about her aging father's cell phone bill. "I have to do everything for him," she was telling me. Her dad was 65 and she said he had just recently recently gotten off drugs and moved to Florida from New York. So perhaps his problem in handling his personal affairs wasn't the onset of Alzheimer's, but a lifelong case of stupidity.
Discussing this with the lady as I worked on her bill I said that the example of my older cousins had probably kept me on the straight-and-narrow. Though I've told you, my reader, about my cousins who are stars of the football field and legal world, chemical engineers, etc., there's a couple of ne'er-do-wells I've deliberately skipped.
The leading example is my cousin who was unfortunately judged to be borderline retarded at birth. She went on to form a cocaine addiction and eventually snorted so much nose candy that she had a stroke and wound up paralyzed in a wheelchair. She spent her last years in a housing project using her government checks to coke up (or had she moved to the more budget-minded meth by then?) before eventually succeeding on her third or fourth OD/suicide attempt in her early 40's. The O.D. only happened in about `04 or `05, but even in the early `80's if I brought home a bad report card I would hear, "YA WANNA TURN OUT LIKE YOUR COUSIN?!"
This caller was absolutely on the same page with me. "Yeah, it's like our son wants to try pot --"
WHOOT! Hold on. Your son tells you he wants to try pot? That should be a secret in the deepest recesses of his mind! He shares this with you?!
"...and you know, it's only pot, and my husband says he just doesn't want him trying it here at home..."
Well, well...Parents of the Year. I had to step outside my lame-o telephone servant mode and say, "Look, let me pull a Dr. Phil on you -- don't do that. As a teenager he wants to do something outside the boundaries you set for him. So if you tell him, 'Well, it's only pot,' then he's going to have to shoot heroin to feel like he's going outside your rules and being naughty. What you should do is forbid him to drink caffeinated beverages, and that way if he drinks even a single can of Old Milwaukee he'll feel like he's really done something."
Hip-and-with-it parents are a true blight upon our society, I've come to realize as I've gotten older. Forget blaming John Kerry, or the government, or your local school system for why your kid can't cut it. How about looking in the mirror? Maybe the problem is you. Parents who toke up with the kids, put on keg parties for the young'uns, even that dad who escorts his son to the Iron Maiden concert and rocks out alongside him...they're a large part of the reason our society is increasingly glutted with dimbulb functional illiterates who have no sense of right, wrong, good, bad, hot, cold, up, down, paper, plastic, night or day. "I'll never forget when I was 15 and my dad lit my bong as Slayer took the stage. We stopped at a whore house in Talapoosa later that night and received BJ's from two Vietnamese girls dressed in bear costumes." Where do you go from there?
Let go of your need to be considered cool by 15 year olds and try adjusting yourself and your kids to the hardcore fundamentals of reality. If we are ever to acheive a stupidity-free society, it's up to you.
First, parents feel the need to outdo the other. "Your dad let you have a party during your weekend with him? I'll one-up him: I'll buy the beer."
Also, I notice a lot of older moms walking around the mall with their daughters, both dressed in their slutty finest. It's almost as if mom figures "Hey, I'm available: May as well advertise the goods."
Or, as is usually the case, the bads.
My dad was never my pal but in hindsight he was the best friend I ever had.
Funny stuff.
This was a 10 on the Post-o-meter. Great stuff, and I hope your caller listened to what you told her and put it into practice.
I really think public schools get an unfair bashing these days. There's only so much someone with a textbook and 45 minutes of time can do to mold your kid. I think the "problem" with our schools could be Tom Snyder's old phrase: GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out.
;-)