Since my financial advisor recently passed away, I've begun the scary process of trying to learn what in the heck IRA's, certificates of deposit, 401(k)'s, mutual funds and interest rates are all about. Mind you I've already had some of these things, but not because I knew what I was doing, just because my financial planner told me to do it. I thought small caps and large caps referred to the size of one's head, so needless to say I could shipwreck myself overnight trying to steer the boat with my innate lack of math/money skills.

I've made some progress in just a few week's time, though. For instance just a couple of weeks ago I marched into the credit union to open a Roth IRA. I had read on Clark Howard's site that a Roth was the way to go, and I remembered my financial advisor saying I should've been in one years ago. So I felt quite proud when I put my name on the dotted line and went home to see how my portfolio looked on the computer.

One-percent interest. Boy, oh, boy! I might retire by the time I'm 42 with returns like that!

WHAT?! What in the heck had I just gotten into?

Further reading showed that although I was right that yes, Roth IRA contributions are after-tax dollars that can not be taxed again, that you can put in a maximum of $5,000 for 2009, and that there is a penalty of 10% if you withdraw the money before age 59 1/2,(my financial advisor would've been pleasantly surprised I absorbed all of that), there was even more to know. I didn't know that a Roth IRA was not a investment by itself, you had to invest in other things via the IRA! And banks and credit unions will only offer you certificates of deposit in your IRA, which are earning piddly interest right now. As Clark Howard says, banks and credit unions are places to park your money. Past that, you need a "brokerage." So I first called the IRS 1-800 line to ask if there would be a penalty for closing out my flaccid IRA in just seven days' time, and they said I might be taxed on the $.30 I had made. Out the credit union IRA went.

Two brokerages that I was aware of were Fidelity and Vanguard. My financial advisor kept the cash with Vanguard, but my current employer has my 401(k) with Fidelity. Which to choose for a IRA? From what I've read, Fidelity is more of an all-around brokerage where you can also get into stocks and bonds, whereas Vanguard is more of a mutual fund company. However I find Fidelity's site a little confusing to get around and they have lots of hidden fees, meaning I go all over the site and have a hard time finding where the fees are, whereas Vanguard gets their fees right out in the open (or the ones they care to discuss). Each waives fees the other doesn't but also charges fees the other doesn't, so at the end of the day they maybe the same.

So I'm going to decide on that, and in the meantime I've voluntarily watched Suze Orman lately, and to my surprise, today I even understood what she was talking about! Previously Suze went right by me in a wash of lingo, but today I followed the conversation without my attention fading away.

Rather than reading guitar forums all the time I'm now checking in to see what Clark Howard and Suze have to say, and am also finding some other interesting sites along the way relating to coupon-cutting and investing. I may turn out to be a smart cookie on this stuff after all.

Well, enjoy your naps. Glad I could be of help.

* This is what Suze Orman says at the close of every show.