Once again yes, maybe I've told this story already, but for the sake of continuity...

So here I was with the second job interview of my life at the great Atlanta Journal-Constitution for a job in the classified ads department, customer service. The strategy here would be to do this customer service job, but then contact my Internet pal, one of their entertainment/lifestyle reporters, as well as my contact in their Special Sections department, and "do lunch" until I could find my way out of classifieds into something more creative. Good thinking, huh?

Not knowing how the Atlanta traffic would be I left plenty early and got there 45 minutes before my appointment. I went to the front desk to let security know who I was there to see. They called up to the Classified Ads manager's assistant, who said they weren't expecting me for another 45 minutes. Yes, I knew that, but weren't they impressed with how early I was?

At this point I realized I had scurried from my car without my tie. I figured I had time to run back and get it, but now here was #2 in the lobby looking at me, which I didn't expect. I told him I needed to run back to my car for my tie; I was 45 minutes early, after all. I got my tie neatly knotted and up we went on the elevator to see the Classified Ads manager, ahead of schedule.

This was the one white guy I encountered in the whole experience. He was pleasant, but distant. He noted that my resume said I had written for the AJC before. He said, "Op Ed page?" Opinion page? That would mean a letter to the editor, right? No, I wasn't stupid enough to put the fact I got a few sentences on the Opinion page on my fucking resume (I didn't say this, but I thought it). He also, for some reason, asked me if I had traveled. Yes, I traveled from my house to his office, which was probably about 25 miles. Oh, you mean besides to the interview? Well, no, but I've been to World Showcase at EPCOT Center at Disney World, and it has mock-ups of all the other countries in it, so in that way you could say I've been around the world. (Remember the last time I told that joke? I can't remember if that was my actual answer or not.)

He also asked me why I was interested in working for the paper, and I said it was because I felt the kind of feedback you would get from a newspaper readership would be more enlightening than what a television or radio audience would give. There would be more opportunity to learn from reader mail. He said it was true that newspaper readers were usually more affluent and better-educated, and statistics proved this. Gosh I felt smart.

One weird thing was the guy had been with Cox Newspapers for awhile, but had only just arrived in Atlanta and had no idea who Lewis Grizzard was. A knowledge of the life and times of Lewis Grizzard should be essential to even being employed sweeping the floors at the AJC.

We finished the interview and he said I was in a pool of three for the two jobs they had. I must have peed in the pool, because I didn't get the job.

By this point, 13 years into our story, I was damn well good and tired of being blown off for jobs I was perfectly qualified to do. So I sent the guy a little package saying I couldn't understand why I would be passed on when I had outshined everyone on their typing test. Plus, I could show them several certificates I had from my current customer service job showing I had 100% quality on my interactions. The package also included a few stories the Journal had published, and I pointed out they were not from the Op Ed page. Yeah, this was a psycho thing to do, a bad idea, but then tell me, what was a good idea?! Nothing I had done in all this time had worked, so who gave a shit anymore?!

The manager's #2 gave me a call and said they had just picked people with "more cusotmer service experience," and they just had "so many outstanding candidates." Yeah, yeah, whatever.

So there went that opportunity. Perhaps I was just there to fill a blank on a Equal Employment Opportunity Commission form, to show they had interviewed at least one honky for the job. Whatever the case, a year later even the opportunity to interview antique store owners would fizzle. Here comes some real entertainment.

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