The flier Scott and I had laid out made everything very, very clear: WHO, WHERE, WHEN, HOW TO GET THERE. Yet when we would present these fliers for our upcoming show at some downtown, Pine-Sol-smelling rock n' roll dive to our teen peers at the mall they would invariably say, "So what is this? Where's it going to be? When?" It was all right there in bold letters in front of their faces, and it didn't matter because they weren't going to show up, anyhow. They didn't travel outside our immediate suburb, because to do so meant you would instantly be mugged, they believed.

It was around this time I began solidifying the theory that Atlanta was a totally boring town for totally boring people. Everyone seemed to have a very aloof, wait-and-see mentality about anything creative. Later, when I did my tiny radio show, it was the same thing: it was nearly futile to try to dream up something big and wild because everyone would just stand off to the sides with their arms crossed not wanting to get involved, no matter the potential for fun. The jam band `zine was similar, I did 98% of it by myself because apparently no one else was interested in talking to semi-well-known musicians and becoming semi-well-known themselves. Weird.

So it seemed Atlanta was pretty much a dry well; scorched, infertile soil for the creative seed of a mind like mine. After all, I had also watched the Urban Shakedancers pack out bars back in the day, but all that resulted was a Black Crowes tour where they lost money and then broke up. Stuck Mojo was another band that nearly proved me wrong, but even despite their success they never flowered to full potential as I thought they should have. You just couldn't get there from here!

Now it's about 2002, and an old acquaintance of mine's alternative band is supposed to be playing The EARL in East Atlanta Village on a Saturday night. I get to the venue only to find maybe I'm a week early, because they're not there. There is a speed/death metal band called Mastodon, however. Not my style of music, but as long as I've driven 30 miles to get here I'll hang around and see what they're like. It wasn't my type of music, generally, but I could still recognize that they were good at it and a notch above similar bands I used to hear at high school battle of the bands. A few months or a year later I caught them again at the Star Bar and once again found myself kinda enjoying it despite the Cookie Monster vocals. Too bad they still weren't as good as Stuck Mojo, and could only dream of having the overseas success Stuck Mojo had.

About a year ago I opened up Creative Loafing and there was a full-page ad for the upcoming Slayer concert at Hi-Fi Buys/Lakewood Ampitheater, a 20,000 seat venue. Supporting act?...Mastodon. Went to Barnes n' Noble, picked up a Metal Edge magazine for kicks. Interview? Mastodon. "Your fans say you're the next Metallica..." Per the article I check out MTV's Headbanger's Ball on the computer. Mastodon is the guest, and they're talking about their major label debut on Warner Brothers! Okay, maybe these guys have a chance...

Similarly, a few years ago I checked out the big local hype, Sound Tribe Sector 9, at the Center Stage theater. These were four or five guys from Lawrenceville who for some reason follwed the Mayan religion, despite not being Mayan, and played some sort of New Age-techno-jam stuff. Entering the theater I immediately noticed huge chunks of quartz crystal at the edge of the stage, a Aztech wall hanging at the rear of the stage, and there was some sort of spacy electronic hum coming over the PA rather than the usual intermission music. My expectations suddenly became high, but after they took the stage I quickly grew bored with their rather generic techno crap.

But what the hell do I know?! They're not as big as Mastodon, but judging by the stuff I just saw on You Tube (below) they're filling 3,000 seat theaters coast-to-coast, have a full light show and video screen and even a high-quality DVD to sell! What the hell?

Perpetual Groove is another techno snoozefest from Savannah that is suddenly everywhere with everybody. Give `em another three or four years and they'll be boring audiences as large as Sector 9's.

It's not just me. My buddy Ben said a Christian rock band invited him over to jam/audition once. He didn't care for them and declined an offer to join the band. They were called Third Day. They're huge in that genre. They sell out arenas.

A co-worker of Ben's told him to come see this acoustic guy he liked at Eddie's Attic. Ben declined. It was John Mayer. `Nuff said.

Yeah, so...you can't get there from here. I'm absolutely convinced.

Mastodon:


Sector 9:


Perpetual Groove:


P.S.: Now I just read Mastodon is opening for Iron Maiden! WHERE WILL IT END?!