No matter how old I get, I still love Christmas. The colors are fetching, the smells, the Norman Rockwell-inspired imagery and, of course, the presents.

Despite being on the brink of 36 my parents continue to spoil me. There was no X-wing fighter or Milenium Falcon under the tree this year, I got those things circa 1980, but there was:

1.) Pink Floyd's The Wall. I was relieved to see that though this is the "Deluxe Remastered" edition it didn't come in one of those crappy cardboard "DigiPaks" they've started putting everything in. It's in a genuine plastic box with really nice artwork on the discs. I was also concerned that like many remasters it would get a surplus dollop of treble on top that would make the hi-hats sizzle through my ears and my car speakers throb with rap-like bass, which is what "remastered" often seems to mean. But, nope, this sounds like a muzzy ol' record, and I like it!

2.) M-Audio Oxygen 8 v.2 MIDI controller. Once again Windows ME comes around to kick me in the nuts. The M-Audio keyboard was the one bump on the road and that's why I'm sandwiching it in the middle. Operating system compatibility didn't even cross my mind as I browsed Guitar Center for keyboards, but lo and behold this thing won't work with my primitive 2001 computer. But MIDI has been MIDI since about 1982 so I refuse to think just because it says "Windows ME not supported" there isn't a workaround somewhere.

3.) A shirt. It's light grey and button up and should match a dress jacket I recently got. I will look great in it as I get blown off at another interview. However, maybe this is the shirt that will turn the tide. It looks really sharp and has no operating system compatibility issues.

4.) Rush Replay x3 DVD. I'm so happy to have this I've been putting off watching it all day because I know seeing it is going to be an experience. I've been dying to see the Exit...Stage Left disc ever since I heard about it's existence a few months ago. I think I'm gonna crack and put it on in an hour or two. Geez...and I've got the Metallica DVD's I bought for myself to watch, too. It's never stopped! I'm a music nut right into old age!

Oh, yes, but Christmas is all about the spirit of giving, so to return the favor to my parents for birthing me and patting me on the head as I bump into career brick walls I threw a few dollars their way.

FOR MOM:

1.) O, the Oprah Magazine. This one has been a hit for three or four years now. The only "down" side is Oprah Winfrey spams me right alongside the people who advertise penis-lengthening pills. "Your subscription to O is due to expire in eight months! Renew today!"

2.) Martha Stewart book. Back as a child and adolescent buying for mom was difficult. What did mothers want for Christmas? Curtains? Upholstery? Fortunately some smart cookie made life easier for us all and invented "female rock stars." Now you can walk into a store and head for the familiar countenances of Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, Paula Deen and Oprah Winfrey and know you've grabbed just what mom wants. This book is on the fascinating subject of housekeeping, which I would figure a 68-year-old woman would have mastered by now if she was ever going to, but mom says Martha Stewart has special tips on how to dust levelour blinds. I wondered if there's a chapter on how to dust around Martha Stewart books that never really get read.

FOR DAD:

1.) Weather alert radio. My God, people had better keep recording rock n' roll records and building guitars because otherwise I might reach a point where I find a dull object like this desirable, as my dad did. The request for this one made me realize maybe my dad likes presents that offer the opportunity for fear and dread, so maybe next year I'll get him a police scanner so he can mark the number of robberies and shootings that are increasing in the Atlanta suburbs, and wonder when the perpetrators will make their way to his door.

For both of them I got a $25 gift certificate to Cracker Barrel. Yum!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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P.S.: R.I.P. James "The Godfather" Brown, who died early this morning here in Atlanta. Got turned onto him by a Late Night with David Letterman rerun from 1987, got his greatest hits, saw him at the first ever Music Midtown in 1993. I have a poster that was mailed directly from his headquarters to the radio station in Cartersville I worked at. Back when I had my own apartment it hung over my fireplace, and one day will hang there again.

3 Comments:

 Mr. Radio said...

I didn't get any booty for Christmas, but I did get:

-A deep fryer
-A griddle
-"Clerks II" DVD
-U2's "18 Hits" CD
-a shirt
-a Falcons sweatshirt
-"Seinfeld" season 7
-a Willow Tree father-son figurine from my son that I had wanted for years...

8:12 AM, December 27, 2006  

 Anonymous said...

wow. cheap and unimaginative gifts, if you had a girlfriend I guess you would have bought her a few pairs of socks? a crock pot? a new apron?

9:08 AM, December 27, 2006  

 Art said...

Yeah, I took the keyboard back. Either I'm going to laugh in the face of Bill Gates and get the older model, which is ME compatible, off of E-Bay or I'm going to break down sometime this year and buy a new computer. Or maybe just a memory card and XP?

Seinfeld Season 7? Don't you know Michael Richards is a horrible racist?! I bet you've seen Apocalypto too, haven't you? Racist! Racist! (Just kidding, I have no beef with Richads or Gibson.)

The "Exit...Stage Left" DVD was great. The medley at the end is unbelievable. I can't wait to watch the other two discs, but I'm holding out.

9:17 PM, December 27, 2006  

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