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Phoenix Blogger Rising
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Blogging is similar to whacking off. It seems exciting and rewarding at first, but in the end you're disappointed, unfulfilled, and you wonder why you did it. Then 15 minutes later you forget how empty it was and do it again.
So here is my new blog. Note it's Art's Bar & Grill, not my full name, and it's on an anonymous mass-production site, not my eponymous URL. Maybe this way potential employers won't Google me and find out I'm not only the kind of guy who blogs, but who also makes whack-off analogies.
On the old blog I posted a misty reminiscence about the old Brandy House and decided my new blog should evoke the feel of that place. I wanted to evoke it so much that the wood beams framing this blog are stolen right off the Brandy House's page. This design is fitting not only because I enjoyed my time at that bar so much but because I believe blogs, chat boards, what have you, are the new watering holes and gathering places. We do a team-building excercise at work only to return to our cubicles and work alone, and we "LOL" and clink animated .gifs of beer mugs in cyberspace after work. So welcome to the Manuel's Tavern that doesn't smell like Pine Sol.
I thought I had petered out of things to say on the old blog, and maybe I did, but I can peter on a few new ones: the David Lee Roth autobiography I'm reading, the Mexicans protesting in the streets and Katharine McPhee's breasts. So, so much to chat about.
So here's the new blog. All jeers and cheers welcome. Okay, only cheers. |
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Posted by Art | 10:45 PM EST |
7 comments
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Comments:
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But where is the mirror beer sign, the one you picked up on eBay? You could put it on the wall between the wood beams (or maybe not... we don't need to see what we look like as we stumble out of the new ATL Bar & Grill).
Someone buy this man a drink. If I'm the first poster, buy me a drink too!
I'm proud of you. The first post and you mention Katharine McPhee's chesticles. I can't get those mouthwatering pontoons outta my head either...
Hi VN! Where YOU been??
New CD report
David Gilmour, On an Island A+
Ben Harper, Both Sides of the Gun B+
Matisyahu, Live @ Stubbs A-
Neville Bros, Live on Planet Earth, B+
Phish, NYE @ MSG A-
Peter Tosh, Legalize It B-
Can you believe our little Art is back to terrorize the world and offer commentary. It's too exciting. I hope he'll write some funny observations about people in or around the ATL.*
* who are, of course, completely fictional and/or out of town visitors from undisclosed locations.
PS - Katharine McPhee? Christ, now I have to do a google search to see what you boys are talking about.
I'm saving more blogs as drafts that will see the light of day soon. Visit often.
The young actresses now are all wearing the 'Joe Simpson' look. Right off the assembly line with the long curling-iron hair. This girl is cutting off the circulation in her melons with faulty underwire. You can't tell if it's a B or D. O-yeah, I'm a bitter old broad, dissing the young girls. But it's really Joe Simpson I'm dissing. Currently, the girls looking cheap and tacky on a magazine cover near you :
[ ] Lindsay Lohan
[ ] Jessica Simpson
[ ] Sweet sis Ashlee
[x] all of the above